The Life Philosophy

People are always asking me "Why/how do you have such a positive out look/attitude on life?" It really is so simple. How could I not? I very well could give in say my life is too hard, I cant do all the things I want to do, so why bother doing anything at all. I could choose to stay in bed most the day, never get ready, never go out, or go to school, and never make or move forward in my life. And the sad thing is some people would think that is acceptable for a person like me, but I think otherwise. Life is too beautiful not to love it and want to be all that you can be. Sure it is alot harder to do some things, but I love life to much to waste it. Besides what good would that do me to give up? To fall in a deep hole of depression getting deeper. What good does it do me to feel sorry for myself, and mourn over the things I cant do? It does me not one ounce of good. It is a waste of time and energy that has no happy ending. So I dont go there. I love the things I can do. I find joy in more simple things. And lately I have started to not take anything for granted, and it truely is amazing the difference that makes. So that is why I am mostly happy with life, there is no other way, I love my life and the paths it has taken thus far.

Healing

After over a year long battle with a pressure sore that has included many wound care visits, dr appointments, threats that I will die cuz of it, and hospitalization; I am finally healing. It is nothing short of a miracle. I made up my mind long ago that it never would heal and that would just be that. But then everything and Im not exaggerating when I say everything; in my life began to fall apart. This was all due to overwhelming pain from my sore and then a unexplained back pain I had never experienced. Throughout my struggles in life I have never dealt with overwhelming pain....so this was a new world to me, one I didnt want to be in. Pain medication helped and then one day it didnt. Thats the day my dr called to hospitalize me for what was thought to be a staff infection in my leg. This was the second week of the semester. The next few days were some of the most emotional and horried moments of my life. The lowest of lows I think a person can get to is when all the medical professionals tell you that you will never heal and the long term out comes of this particular situation could be amputation or death. How do you carry on and smile at that? You dont. I thought I would have to bag the semester and give up doing some things I loved. Long story short it never was infected. I was sent home with anti biotics for a bladder infection that also slowly took my back pain away. Though this was the hardest thing yet placed infront of me, the result has been a miracle. My leg is healing, im pain med free, and have not felt this good literally in years. I love my life and those in my life and those watching out for me above.

This experience has humbled me greatly. Made me appreciate everything. Increased my faith. Made me realize dr are not God and miracles always weighout what even the smartest men on earth can do. And I feel for those stricken with horrible pain.